Me? I'm like, no way we're getting a pet. All they do is eat and shit. Then I came across this study in New Scientist: Zebra finches sing sloppily when drunk
Does beer make you shlur your wordsh? You're not alone: drunk zebra finches (Taeniopygia guttata) sing songs that are blurrier and more disordered than those of their sober counterparts.
No way, right?! This is SO TOTALLY the pet for me. Also?
What's more, binge drinking may permanently impair juvenile finches' ability to learn new songs – which could have implications for our understanding of the effect of heavy drinking on adolescents.
Evidently, if you give a young bird alcohol, instead of babbling and experimenting "with disordered noises before settling on their own song," they just "settle on a simple song."
Oh, how I love simple songs. Sign me up for $250 worth!