Why I MUST Get a Zebra Finch

So, my boys have been bothering me about getting a puppy--it's kind of a hobby for them. Some kids play soccer, some like art. My kids choose to follow me around making promises they'll never keep: I'll walk the dog every day. I'll feed the puppy. I'll pay for all the doggie food.

Me? I'm like, no way we're getting a pet. All they do is eat and shit. Then I came across this study in New Scientist: Zebra finches sing sloppily when drunk

Does beer make you shlur your wordsh? You're not alone: drunk zebra finches (Taeniopygia guttata) sing songs that are blurrier and more disordered than those of their sober counterparts.

No way, right?! This is SO TOTALLY the pet for me. Also?

What's more, binge drinking may permanently impair juvenile finches' ability to learn new songs – which could have implications for our understanding of the effect of heavy drinking on adolescents.

Evidently, if you give a young bird alcohol, instead of babbling and experimenting "with disordered noises before settling on their own song," they just "settle on a simple song."

Oh, how I love simple songs. Sign me up for $250 worth!