Thursday, September 27, 2012

Loosing My Marbles

So, today, my six-year-old comes home from first grade with a frown on his face. What's wrong, little pookie? I ask, and he says, my day was ROUGH, only then he says:

I lost my marbles 

Hard to loose something you don't have, right? I mean my kids? CRAZY.

Then he tells me this long convoluted story about how K-man was standing in the back of the classroom, and how the whole class was yelling at him to sit down, sit down, and he wouldn't. And he kept loosing marbles. In fact, my son started to cry BECAUSE HE WAS LOOSING HIS MARBLES. And so did Monique, and Beth, and Sue-Ellen. I have no idea who these kids are, so I just nod and say that sounds terrible. 

And then the marbles were gone. 

Right, I say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you lost your marbles. Then he tells me the story again, and this time I realize that the TEACHER IS USING MARBLES AS DISCIPLINE. Holy shit! The genius. I'm going to start doing it for myself. Every time I have another glass of wine, I loose a marble. And one day, bitches? They'll be GONE.


  1. I kept waiting for the part where you were going to explain to the 6 year old that it's "lose" and "losing" - but then I got to the end. And you never did. So now I'm left wondering if you're being ironic, or if you missed it completely. LOSE. LOSING.

  2. Yo! I get my tips from:

  3. I added links, above. The tips are worth a read.

  4. Hey, thanks for the link. For that you get a marble and one free glass of wine. Anonymous above needs to read tip #3 :). Just saying.

  5. Thank YOU! I have never felt so famous. Wine all around, and a couple of your toasted bagels.