So, today, my six-year-old comes home from first grade with a frown on his face. What's wrong, little pookie? I ask, and he says, my day was ROUGH, only then he says:
I lost my marbles
Hard to loose something you don't have, right? I mean my kids? CRAZY.
Then he tells me this long convoluted story about how K-man was standing in the back of the classroom, and how the whole class was yelling at him to sit down, sit down, and he wouldn't. And he kept loosing marbles. In fact, my son started to cry BECAUSE HE WAS LOOSING HIS MARBLES. And so did Monique, and Beth, and Sue-Ellen. I have no idea who these kids are, so I just nod and say that sounds terrible.
And then the marbles were gone.
Right, I say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you lost your marbles. Then he tells me the story again, and this time I realize that the TEACHER IS USING MARBLES AS DISCIPLINE. Holy shit! The genius. I'm going to start doing it for myself. Every time I have another glass of wine, I loose a marble. And one day, bitches? They'll be GONE.