Yo! Are YOU a helicopter parent?

So everyone in the twitterverse is sending me this story: The Seven Myths of Helicopter Parenting. It's in this rag called Slate. Slate? Okay. Whatever. I read it anyway. The subtitle of this story?

Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re not one, because you probably are.

First off, I have to figure out: WTF is a helicopter parent? I mean, when I think helicopter? I think about that scene in Raiders of the Lost Arc. Where the bad guy gets chopped up by the propeller blades? Okay. That was maybe an airplane.

Forch, point 1 of the article provides this explanation of obvious helicopter-parent characteristics:

anyone who schedules Mandarin classes for their 5-year-old and dutifully shuttles them off every Saturday morning for theater-to-express-yourself classes.

People do that? Holy shit. But that's not all. Helicopter parents might answer yes to the following: 

Do you not allow your children to watch television? Do you allow them any time on the Internet unsupervised? Are you keeping very close track of what they eat? Do you get a little too involved in homework? Do you barely ever hire baby sitters at night?

Yo! I barely hire babysitters at night. Why? Because I'm broke. Guess that makes me helicopter. So, turns out Madeline Levine wrote a book about this: Teach Your Children Well and I'm thinking maybe I better read it to find out more about what I'm doing wrong, but then I skip down to the bottom of the article and point seven is:

7. This conversation is boring. In the little echo chamber of media, we have heard enough about bourgeois parents overparenting their kids to last 13 lifetimes.

yo! If I had 13 lifetimes, maybe I could become bourgeois? Like, if that kind of thing is still possible. Maybe, if I knew Chinese...