One-way ticket to Mars?

Call me an idiot, but this one-way ticket to Mars business? Have you heard of it? I just found the Mars recruiting site and my head is about to explode. Evidently, more than 78,000 people have applied to leave Earth forever. And for what?

Mars One will establish a permanent human settlement on Mars. We invite you to participate by sharing our vision with your friends, and, perhaps, by becoming the next Mars astronaut yourself.


"Sharing our vision"? You mean, living on MARS with two-dozen other crazy people? Mars? And what of my kids?

So, yeah. If they came up with a way to grow grapes there, I might consider it.

Read more: Mars One

Parking problems? Never again!

So I'm reading Kurzweil Accelerating Intelligence, because I figure I could use all the help I can get, and I come upon this story called An autonomous flying car? Really? and I realize that I must have one, so I go to the source, which turns out is some company called Terrafugia Inc.

Terrafugia? I don't know if I can drive something called Terrafugia, but then, I wouldn't be driving, I'd be FLYING. That's right, bitches. A parking space opens and I get there first. Check this out:


Building on its experience with the Transition® program, Terrafugia has begun feasibility studies of a four-seat, vertical takeoff and landing (VTOL) plug-in hybrid-electric flying car, the TF-X™. Incorporating the state-of-the-art in intelligent systems, fly by wire controls, and currently available technology, the TF-X™ will further increase the level of safety, simplicity, and convenience of personal aviation.

I'm all for state-of-the-art in intelligent systems myself. Want to see pictures? I thought so: http://www.terrafugia.com/aircraft

When Fungi Attack!

Okay. I admit it. The fungi aren't actually attacking, but how fun is that to say? How fun is that to think about? I mean, what would YOU do if fungi were attacking? If you were me, you'd call the aphids. No one fucks with an aphid. Get this:

Symbiotic fungi on the roots of bean plants can act as an underground signaling network, transmitting early warnings of impending aphid attacks.

I'm all for underground signaling networks, but it gets even better:

The mechanism of communication is not clear, but the researchers suspect it is likely to be a chemical signal passed through this underground fungal network.

I don't know about you, but I LOVE chemicals. What do I have to do to be passed through this network?

Read more: Plants Communicate with Help of Fungi

Friday feature film: Prancercise!

Yo! This woman is my new fitness goddess. I don't know about you, but I'll be prancercising all weekend. Happy friday, bitches!

Me and my invisibility cloak are going to RULE THE UNIVERSE!

I got me an invisibility cloak, and it looks like Swiss cheese! I know, I know. You don't believe me. But check this out:

Seven years ago, Duke University engineers demonstrated the first working invisibility cloak in complex laboratory experiments. Now it appears creating a simple cloak has become a lot simpler, by using a 3D printer. [It] looks like a Frisbee disc made out of Swiss cheese.

Who knew? The future is now, and it looks like cheese!  I'm going to DEVOUR it. But first, I'm going to use my new superstar 3D-printed powers to take over the universe. You can too!

Read more: Do-it-yourself invisibility cloaking with 3D printing

One more reason to get a BRAIN implant!

If you're like me, you love the idea of a brain implant. I mean, why not put a bunch of shit in your head? Couldn't be worse than what's already in there.

Now, science has found reason to back me up:

The new study on obese mice found that deep brain stimulation (DBS), which involves implanting a device that sends electrical impulses to precise targets in the brain, may reduce binge eating and other obesity-related behaviors.

How's that for cool? Evidently the thing targets "a part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which is a small structure in the brain's reward center that is already known to play a part in addictive behaviors, such as binge eating." The nucleus accumbens! If I have another kid, I'll name him that.

Read more: Battling Obesity ... with a Brain Implant?

Get Smart! Get Smart Pajamas!

Are you too wasted to read your child a bed time story? No worries! Smart pajamas can take care of that for you:

Each pair of interactive PJs features 47 unique dot clusters that sync with free Android and iOS apps, so scanning each with a smartphone or tablet brings up a different story. Kids can have their device read their bedtime story to them or mute the narrator and read the text themselves.

All for only $25 bucks. I'm so getting three pairs of these. I mean, that's what technologies all about, right?

Read more: Smart PJs, Invented By Dad Juan Murdoch, Does Bedtime Reading For You